Last Kiss
by Chikita
Summary: The thoughts going through the younger twin's head when he had to make the decision at the cliff side that could have changed their fates entirely. SPOILERS, Su/Ami


**A Last Kiss**

Seiryuu... Kami-sama... The pain of being ruthlessly attacked just for standing up for what I believe in and want to protect. Why did you have to turn a supposed ally against me? No, I shouldn't wonder, it was inevitable that it would happen. The group was never tightly knit like the Suzaku Seishi, but yet, it seems wrong that we should be fighting each other.

He won't let up; I am certainly going to die now - at the hands of someone I grudgingly respected only because he had deceptively wanted peace for Kutou. He's no better than the others are. The only one lacking such motives and intentions is the one not here...

He should come... I know he will, otherwise, I will meet the end that the river didn't bring.

Something is going to die. It's close; I can feel the chi draining through the link. Someone has o pay and with their life for threatening his. That person will suffer a painfully slow agonising death for daring to hurt the one that always was close and dearest to me.

No one threatens or hurts those close to me and lives to tell about it. Their blood with be barely enough retribution for their sins against the one that they have dared to threaten.

Oh, I can feel his blood on my hands. I can see it trickle and drip rapidly from his body as he chokes and gurgles on the blood that will spill at my hand. He will beg for mercy, but will not be able to speak, as he has no longer been given such rights. He has hurt the very other half of my soul.

I can't move, the stabbing feathers controlled by the mind of the painted Seishi have torn my skin, clothing and left me weaken. He's tossed just about everything my way; I cannot withstand much more any more. It's torture trying to keep my head up to fight for what I believe...no, what is right.

I can't cry out; I can't let my attacker and one supposed ally know he's going to defeat me. He won't have that pleasure. I know he wants it; I saw the telltale smirk of sadism caress his lips. How I loathe being at his mercy.

Only a few more yards. Hang in there. I have only a few more yards. I can see him in a mangled pile of festering, bloody limbs as he begs for mercy that I shall not give him! Oh, how he will writhe under my touch as I tear him limb to limb, letting his blood fall to the ground from his body, taking the life he is unworthy of!

He'll lie on the ground. He'll bleed till he can bleed no more. If that isn't enough, he's going to wish he never touched my brother! He's going to be nothing but sacrificial meat when I've had my way. He'll be a bloody pile of limbs and mangles remains that the Kutou army will strive vainly to identify.

I can seem him just in the distance. How his blood will pay for the sins he has committed...

I don't want to give up, but soon I'll be coughing up my own blood from the peril of battle. I never wanted to fight and yet I find myself fighting, only now for my life. I can't ever seem to find the peace I want. They follow me everywhere. I can't escape them, no matter what I do.

Now I am going to lose the life I didn't lose when I let myself fall into the river. I wanted to end this fighting, but it won't let me. I don't want any more bloodshed, least of that mine. Kami-sama! Just have this beast put out of my damned misery!

I know I'm going to die! He should get this over with, instead of grotesquely sneering at me. Horrid thoughts of hatred going through his mind; I know he hates me and that this is his way of expressing such. His damned smirk, it's taunting me, as he slowly prolongs my death.

I take a moment to blink, wincing at the pain I refuse to cry out in, only to suddenly gasp in shock, my eyes wide as I watch in perverted fascination as he bleeds so spontaneously. The look on his face is gratifying, or so I would feel if I didn't lie on the ground, bleeding, millions of tiny knives taking my life from my grasp.

Blood trickles from his mouth. It's not just a coincidence. Someone's attacked him. I feel the chi; that warm, familiar chi. Either I'm delusional from blood loss, or the bearing of the chi just killed the painted freak that was slowly and sadistically draining my life from me. Yes, he did his weapon hangs through the body of my enemy.

I watch it get retracted before he yells a curse and tells my enemy to not touch me. He doesn't give the Seishi a chance to even react before that weapon slashes violently with unheard of rage, leaving him nothing more than a bloodied corpse, dropping to the ground, uttering something of his remorseful regret to his unrequited love. (Though the thought makes me ill - such a man can't feel remorse, regret or even love, because it requires compassion).

"ANIKI!!"

There is one obstacle eliminated now. That son of a bitch is dead, lying in his own festering cesspool of bloody that stains his clothes. His face is twisted into nothing but pain. It's nice to know and see, as I glance over for a split second before moving for my other half. That's why I came. I didn't come to let him lie in pain while I basked in the glory of having defeated the bastard that dared hurt my other half; my twin.

Cradling my brother, his body limp in my grasp, I sigh softly, feeling strangely happy, yet sad, as I hear his voice; the sweet voice I had missed for so many months when he left me for that death mission in Konan. It's reassuring to be able to hold him again, even if he's slightly too injured to hold me.

I've missed this closeness. Right now, I don't want to do anything, except just enjoy this comforting closeness, but I know his injuries need tending to. I didn't want to think that my other half had been so injured, but I had to.

Touching a hand to his face, I brush loose strands of blond hair away, watching his eyes as he speaks to me. He then holds up a small bottle, medicinal. I sensed it, as he spoke to me, though not talking of the contents.

I just watch him, his smile sweet gentle, as I remember. Yet, there is something disturbing he isn't telling me. I know he wants me to join him in this life he's found, but I know full well I can't. I have my own issues to confront and my hands are too bloody to hold his.

It seems I have not much choice in the matter, as my twin insists that I take it. I so want to join him, but it doesn't seem right. I don't want to be separated again, have my soul torn in half, but it seems wrong that I should accept something so precious.

I long to stay with him, never to leave. Is that my choice as I look at the medicinal bottle my dear other half has given me? Do I have much other choice? I don't want any other choice, I want to share this life with him, as I wanted to and not worry about war and being orphaned. I just want to be loved...

But, that is too good for me.

I don't want to leave him! It'll hurt too much. I need to feel his soft breath on my neck, hear his voice whisper comforting statements to me as we try and sleep into the night despite the chaos. I need to feel his arms around my body, as he holds me close. He's the only one that ever cared so much about me.

I can't let my dear twin see me cry. I don't want to part with him. But fate is cruel. It's a stake being driven deep into my heart and its slowly tearing our souls apart. It keeps trying to drive us apart and I don't want it to!

He takes me in his arms. How odd that our positions are reversed. He lingers over me, his soft, warm breath caressing my skin. His arms hold me against his body. He's no different than before, still the same; the sweet younger brother I left behind. I regret that action...

But perhaps I have been given a second chance for us to no longer be separated. I want him to come with me, not to return to the others. I need him more than I ever let on. His desire to not be separated is also my own. We share the same need.

I want to tell him in few words. But right now, I can't find such words. I can only enjoy this closeness. It's the most I've had in a while. It's not usual for him to be the one to comfort me, to hold me. I take that position and hold his body against mine. He fits against me perfectly, as I do with him; exact cuts of each other.

His hand takes mine briefly. It's like mine. But...different. Now is a chance to give him what I have and to be eternally one. I slip him the bottle that my father had handed me. It was for healing. I know my brother didn't need it physically, but emotionally he cried out desperately for it.

He took it from me warily. I don't blame him. It's strange. But it'll ensure the one thing we never had, peace. We won't be thrust into the hands of cruel, unforgiving fate. We would be happy... My brother never fully had that. Only for a short while I have. It would be better if I could share it with him.

To sleep with him near me, to have his body next to mine, feeling the warmth, listening to the steady rhythmic breathing as he rests peacefully - something I sorely miss. It's made up with him just holding me against his body, even if he pulled away, gazing at the bottle and indirectly into my eyes, waiting for an answer, for his respects my opinion, as I do his.

He didn't reject the offer; he's considering it. He desires the peaceful life as much as I do. Now he has a chance to have it. I want him to have it with me.

I want to join him; I know he wants me to, but yet, it feels so wrong when it's so simple for us to be eternally together and not in the peril of Kutou's never-ending war. I want to feel his body next to mine, his arms around me, holding me like he did when we were younger.

But I can't have that with my bloodied hands. I know he's safe and that's what matters most, the fact that the one that shares my love is safe and away from those who can bring harm to him. I want to stay and help protect him and stay out of that war, in peace, but that is wrong.

I can make it possible for him to stay in this peaceful life... But without me.

Taking the cap off the bottle, I ingest the contents in my mouth. How damned vile! He wants me to drink... I can't even stand the taste in my mouth. It's worse than guilt. But I don't want to spit it out for fear I'll offend my twin, the only one who loves me.

Then let it be my departing gift. He helped me, guided me, now I'll give him something that he's been striving for...peace. But it hurts me because I lose him yet again, but like the last time we departed, I'll feel his soft lips against mine...

If this Bohkyaku broth is designed to erase memories, then my dear twin won't remember our last moment together or any before.

Pressing my mouth against his, stealing a lingering kiss, my tongue parts his lips as I transfer the bitter-tasting liquid his way.

Oh kami-sama! Those sweet lips! He's bold enough to in such places. He hasn't forgotten me in our time apart. Maybe now we can be eternally together, never again threatened with separation until...

What... No! He can't give me this. I won't remember anything, least of all him. No...Shun-chan, you've got to stop or I'll never remember you...

His lips taste sweet, so familiar. It's a shame he'll only remember briefly before we once again are forced to go separate ways. But it's okay if this is his last memory, because he might remember even through the force of the liquid. I hope he does at least remember something, if even just a faint ghost memory.

I don't know when it starts to work but... Oh damn, I need a good reason as to why I'm leaving him. I can't make it flimsy. I can't hurt him, even if he can't remember, but there's the chance that one day he might.

Sighing, I try to use the explanation that I care about another person that I'm a guardian for...Seiryuu no Miko, the one who hates me. Yes, it's ironic, but I can't stay with my brother, even if I wanted to; to forget my sins is as bad as committing them

No, he can't be serious. He's leaving me again... No, this is the first time he is. But I can't blame him because I left him before. Is he hurting too much that he doesn't want to stay? Yes, he must because always cried when I left, saying he didn't want me to leave. I know he didn't say it, but the hurt in his eyes spoke volumes. He wouldn't ever let us be separated... So, it must be hurting and pain driving him to have us separated because of this...

It's starting to take effect, I can feel it.

Please...stop; let me have one more minute with him, kami-sama...

He starts to say my name, but he doesn't finish. The medicine is taking effect; hopefully it'll soothe his tired, weary soul, and finally giving him the peace he wants so much. I can only hope that he gets it, he isn't suited for the life of a warrior, just a sweet, soft-spoken musician. He would've been a minstrel - an excellent one at that; his beautiful melodies filling the air as he moves from village to village.

Sadly, he was forced into the life of a warrior, having to use violence that broke his peaceful, serene nature. He's the pacifist I could never be. His gentle nature gives him the right to have this life, even if he did try to kill someone because he wouldn't have done it in the spite of contempt.

Despite your body being limp in my harms, you seem so peaceful, such a calm expression over your face. Even with the scratches, you're still beautiful, because you are on the inside. I can never be like you, but I can only dream and know that one of us is...

**End?**


End file.
